Undivided loves

When I only had one child, I gave my all to her.  I spent more times reading, coaching and talking to her than to my husband.  And sometimes daddy is jealous of our close bondness too. 

What ever she wanted she would asked me. And I would give to her. And my attention is 100% on her.

But since the arrival of my 2nd child, my attention and love have been divided.  Not equally unfortunately.  How hard it is for me to share some times with my first child.  And how guilty can I be when I heard that she complaining that she is feeling unloved.  How can I not love her.  She is my first born.

I am trying to be both "equal" to both children.  But most of the times, it would be the 2nd child that preceding my attention.  Baby Jay would get the first feeding, get the bath first and when ever there is a fight, he would get less scolding.  And I know how it is to be the eldest.  I am the eldest myself.  I was always taught to give way to the younger siblings, no matter I was right or wrong.  So I would understand when my Princess told me that she feels unloved.  Not unloved, but less attentive to her needs, I said.

I wish I can divided myself into 2 me.  So one can tend to Baby Jay and one to Princess. 

So to both of my children, when you have grown up and read this blog of mine, please bear in mind that mummy and daddy love both of you.  You are our seeds; you are from us.   If not equal love, it is definitely more than we love ourselves, that we promised.