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Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Marriage-savvy

Like in all Disney stories, the prince and princess lived happily ever after. But real life marriage is not a fairy tale and doesn’t work that way. With increasing rate of marriages ending in divorces, it is crucial for couples to ensure their marriages work.

Before they take the important step in sealing the vow of marriage, some issues are best discussed first hand to avoid conflict and misunderstanding in the future:

Money Issue
Money is always one of the factors that affect a marriage. Discuss well before marriage on how both of you can budget your money. List down the basic expenditure and either you share some of the expenditure or one person responsible for certain items.

Conflict solving
Conflicts and disagreements are part and parcel of marriages. Do not try to change your spouse into some one you want them to be because it wouldn’t happen. Do not used hurtful words that you may regret later. Respect and understand each other.

How many children should we have?

Before married, Big J has said that he wish to have 3 children where as I want to stick to 2. We are still working on the number but the important issue here is to discuss on how many children both of you would like to have. Having children is hard and can put a toll on your relationship in later stage. It is impossible for parents to maintain intimacy in relationship.

Live with different faiths
Religion defines belief, behaviors, values and lifestyle. I am from a family that practice Buddhist while Big J is a Christian. Conflicts do arise in an inter-faith marriage, but sit down and discuss on how to deal with different practices. We have to respect each other and making adjustment.

In-laws and own family
It is not just you and your spouse but each other families too. They can be a blessing as well as distraction to your new family. Keep in mind no matter how much our extended family drives us crazy, they are there to enrich our lives and children’s lives immeasurably

Time for each other
Romance in a relationship lasts for about 6 months to 1 year. When couples marry, the challenge is to maintain that passion for a life time. Making times for each other despite busy work schedule. Even better, get someone to baby-sit your children and you and spouse can have some personal time together.

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