Undivided loves

When I only had one child, I gave my all to her.  I spent more times reading, coaching and talking to her than to my husband.  And sometimes daddy is jealous of our close bondness too. 

What ever she wanted she would asked me. And I would give to her. And my attention is 100% on her.

But since the arrival of my 2nd child, my attention and love have been divided.  Not equally unfortunately.  How hard it is for me to share some times with my first child.  And how guilty can I be when I heard that she complaining that she is feeling unloved.  How can I not love her.  She is my first born.

I am trying to be both "equal" to both children.  But most of the times, it would be the 2nd child that preceding my attention.  Baby Jay would get the first feeding, get the bath first and when ever there is a fight, he would get less scolding.  And I know how it is to be the eldest.  I am the eldest myself.  I was always taught to give way to the younger siblings, no matter I was right or wrong.  So I would understand when my Princess told me that she feels unloved.  Not unloved, but less attentive to her needs, I said.

I wish I can divided myself into 2 me.  So one can tend to Baby Jay and one to Princess. 

So to both of my children, when you have grown up and read this blog of mine, please bear in mind that mummy and daddy love both of you.  You are our seeds; you are from us.   If not equal love, it is definitely more than we love ourselves, that we promised. 

Happy anniversary

Big J and I are different. Really the Mars and Venus thinggy.

He is passionate, rational and wise. He does thing slowly. I am just the opposite. I guess that is why people say opposite attraction is.

We may think and do things differently but once a while, we love to do things together. Like cooking a decent meal for the family. Or just go to our favourite cafe and enjoy the food we love.

Another aspect that we both think alike (not so agree but we compromise) is the way we raise our child. We believe that we need to connect with our children and involve in their lives. Although we are both busy with our respective works, we try to make some "quality" times for our two kids. Both need our attention and affection. I may be wrong (correct me if I do), most couple's argument concerning either money or children. Every household have the same problem and mine is not an exception. It is hard not to talk about such things, so some compromises are important in any relationships. We have been married more than 5 years and yet every day I am still learning to compromise with hubby.

How to keep our love stronger? It needs two hands to clap. We learn to give and take. Give times to each other, listen and talk to him and children, do the things we like and not forgetting, lots of love and hugs every day! *wink*

Happy Anniversary, darling!

Rose, rose

Rose is among the most popular flowers people give on Valentine’s Day. Red roses symbolize love, passion, respect and courage.

What is the meaning of the numbers of roses?

Single bloom red rose : Love at first sight or I still love you

Single rose, any colour: Gratitude or simplicity

2 roses: Mutual feelings

3 roses: I love you

7 roses: I am infatuated with you

9 roses: We will be together forever

10 roses: You are perfect

11 roses: You are my treasured one

12 roses: Be mine

13 roses: Friends forever

15 roses: I am truly sorry

20 roses: I am truly sincere towards you

21 roses: I am dedicated to you

24 roses: Forever yours

25 roses : Congratulations

50 roses: Unconditional love

99 roses: I will love you all the day of my life

108 roses: Will you marry me?

999 roses: I love you till the end of time

Cook to your man's heart

Like the old saying, food is the ingredient to your man’s heart. There is nothing more meaningful for the coming Father’s Day to serve your husband his favourite dish on that day. I am sure your husband will be very pleased to see the table full of food.

Not only for special occasion, once a while you can surprise your husband (or boyfriend) with nice cooking too. When they least expect it, that is where the surprise begins.

What is your love style?

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion!

And chances are, you're currently in love.You have a strong physical response to love...

And you are great at committing (As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

What is your love style?

A never ending love

Most of the times when we talked about love, we always assume the loves that a man and a woman have. What about fatherly and motherly love? Mother's Day may have passed, but do not forget about Father's Day which is coming soon in June.

Although Little J never close to her dad, I knew deep down in my heart that she does love him. Although we asked her to say "Daddy, I love you", she never want to say it to him. However there was one time when she just woke up from her nap and said "Daddy I love you". Unfortunately Big J hasnt wake up yet that time to hear the words. Nevertheless he was happy when I told her about it afterward.

A parent's love to a child is undeniable one of the most precious love. You will never fall out of love with your children. Whether they are bad or done anything that cause grievances to you, you never let down on them and always love them. You will shelter them from rain and sun and hold the armor when they are in trouble.

As for Big J and Little J's story, Little J is still young and have yet to accept her dad wholly. She still very much attached (shall I say "stick to me like glue") at home. Where ever I go, she follow close behind. I hardly can do much thing with her tugging along. Maybe because of the less time spend together between Big J and Little J. However Big J now is much freer, and have been staying at home more often. He has quit his job, but will only join another company next month. So more time at home, more time with Little J. Hopefully she will get used to having her dad around and they become closer. :)

What love can do for you?

When you fall in love with someone, do you change for him or her?? I have a story to share with you and let you decide for yourself:

HT has been working in a company as technician for many years. His no-care attitude has been a talk of the company, and everyone who knew him commented that he was lazy and never bother about after-sales services.

Came in SY into his life, he was so besotted with her that he proposed to her within 2 months courtship. SY was a humble and pleasant girl. She agreed to his proposal and they got themselves engaged. HT also becomes a changed man, from no-care attitude to care attitude. His work performance improved, customers were happy with his fast services, and boss promoted him to supervisory level.

So, true love can really change a person into a better person, don’t you think so? Now why Big J can’t quit smoking because of me? He doesn’t love me enough? Lol

In love with another man

Before you come to an early conclusion, let me make myself clear first. Please don’t get me wrong. I am not having an affair outside my marriage. I am still in love and very much loyal to Big J!

Is it possible to love another man other than the man you are married to? Why not? You can love many people in your life, don’t you. You can love God, your parents, sisters, brothers, colleagues and friends. God teaches us to love rather than hate a people. What I am trying to say is that there are many kind of love in this world that you cannot possibly in love with one person. The kind of love in this case is not the kind of love you have for your partner, but rather, a platonic love.

Platonic love is defined as “a love or a friendship between two people, close and deep but not sexual”

It is common for you to have a feeling toward another man, but that kind of feeling is platonic, truly platonic with no sexual desire along the line. A girl or guy may have many male friends or female friends, yet they are happily married to their partners.

How to have a platonic relationships with some one? Firstly you must share a common interest. You can have some common interests with your male colleague, yet with no string attached or love developed from there. I have few male friends (Big J knew them well too) that I have grown fond and love. Love them as friends! We share many things since colleagues, have fun together, laugh at same things, joke and gossip around and they are always there when we need them. We have been through so many things. In the past, I have been linked to one of the guys, but our relationship never goes to a stage further. We are just too comfortable with each other that we can’t imagine ourselves as lovers. We have become close, just like brother and sister. Closer than my own blood brother and sister.

Love Booster

glitter-graphics.com

You don’t need expensive aphrodisiacs such as ginseng and oysters to boost your sexual appetite, everyday foods can spark it up too!

Avocado – all all-rounder. This fruit contains high levels of folic acid to metabolise proteins for extra energy, and potassium to police your thyroid gland so as to keep hormones at a healthy balance

Liver – not the sexiest of foods, but a good source of glutamine, an amino acid that help zap a slowed-down libido into shape

Almonds – studies shoe that the smell of almonds appears to arouse passion in women. (Wow, girls let have some at the side of the bed will you?)

Garlic – It increases blood flow to your sexual organ. (better opt for garlic supplement, since the smell could be a passion-killer!)

Eggs – A high vitamin B5 and B6, balance up the hormone levels and fights stress

Celery – get your man to chow down on some raw celery since it contains androsterone, an odorless hormone released through male perspiration that turns women on

(Source: Malaysian Women's Weekly)

Mr and Mrs Right?

No one is perfect. Everyone has their flaws, whether you like it or not. It is facts of life, you just have to accept it, not you liking it.

Big J is not the handsomest man in the pool but I never commented on his looks. I have friends came back to me either they themselves or they overheard from other on my taste (when Big J was my boyfriend) as they know that Big J doesn’t fit in the qualities that I look in men. Hahaha! Talking about setting a mark! Big J is a smoker, drinker and Foochow! The qualities that I look (or looked as it was in the past) are non-smoker, non-drinker and definitely not a Foochow! I am not discriminating, but I never thought of having a Foochow man as a boyfriend before! *wink*

My friends were worry that I was blind and simply “choose” without much thinking. At least I know that my friends were concern and always have my interest at heart! But I proved them wrong that I am not so into looks but more on character. Big J was (and still is although he seldom show it now) romantic, intelligent and hardworking man. I feel comfortable with him. I don’t care what other think of him!

So here I go, married to Big J after 3 years dating. Never regret my decision as I know he is my Mr Right in the sense he loves me and will stand by me through the hard and good times. He stop going out at night and seldom drink since Little J came into the picture. Thank god for that. Although cant change his smoking habit much, he definitely try his best not to smoke in front of Little J which I am grateful for.

So, how to determine whether that person is your Mr or Mrs Right? There is no perfect guideline for this, but it is based on your instinct! You will know that he is the one for you! You feel comfortable when around him, no pretence when he is there and you can be yourself. If he is your Mr Right, grab him before other does!! Looks can be deceiving. What good does it bring if that person is the most handsome man in the world and yet he has the heart of a stone?? It is quality and character that you should be looking into that person.....look further and you shall seek.

A day of love

Valentine’s Day is 2 weeks from now! Everyone is starting to plan of what to do or give to their loved one. For many people, Valentine’s Day may be the ultimate day for romance, but for other, it is just another day and not a big deal.

Me and hubby consider it as another day, as everyday should be treated special days. We must not only show our affection and love on Valentine’s Day, but should extend to other days too. So, everyday should be treated Valentine’s Day (especially now we are married and once a while we are losing those loving attitudes!).

We seldom buy gifts for each other on Valentine’s Day after we married, as we think it is waste of money! Yes, perception on money changed once we got married. However, this year I have planned to give my hubby a Burberry Brit fragrance which he has been mumbling of buying for few months! Sssshhhh! Keep it a secret *wink*. In addition, we make it a must to have dinner either a day before or after Valentine’s Day. We don’t like to be caught with those lovey-dovey crowds and “throat cut” by price hike on Valentine’s Day.

On the day-to-day basis, we would make it a habit to SMS each other “I love you” or “I miss you”. We may not say the words out aloud but we know we still love each others. ~smile~ Like Ronan Keating sang “you say the best, when you say nothing at all”! So, action is better than words. Like a morning and good night kisses, and a warm hug are simple gesture of love! I don’t want expensive gifts just to know how much my hubby love me, right? Love does not weigh based on money.

Regardless of what your thoughts about Valentine’s Day, here are a few ideas to help make this day special for your spouse and yourself. Remember that Valentine's Day isn't just about giving and receiving gifts. It is also a time to reflect on your love for one another.

1. Say "I love you" to your spouse more often.
2. Think of ways to show your love. Try something different to surprise your spouse.
3. Don't forget food. Dining out or have a romantic dinner together.
4. Write a love letter to your spouse. Or send a nice MMS or SMS with those catchy pictures via mobile phone.

Love oh love

During our dating time, Big J and I will keep on calling and SMSing each others (quite frequent) every day, just to say "I love you", "I miss you" and "cant wait to see you again". All those lovely words to remind each others how much we are in love and missing each other!!

Well, as we got married, calls and sms getting lesser (anyone agree with this statement?). Maybe once you settled down, you tend to take the other for granted and no longer needed to remind each other on those magic words. However, this is not to say Big J doesnt love me anymore. Maybe we have passed those dating period and move to a different transition where family become a priority in our life at this moment.

Regardless of how busy I am at work, I will make some time to SMS him "I love you". I am sure sooner or later he will check his SMS and see my SMS. Just to remind my spouse how much I love him and how lucky to have found him in my life! :)